It was exactly ten years ago today that we got the call, bud. Do you remember? We were at the kitchen counter together frosting your cake for your birthday party the next day. You were turning seven; seems like a lifetime ago now that we are on the eve of your seventeenth birthday. Little did any of us know what a formative year number seven would be for you. The news on the other end of that line was life-changing for all of us, but looking back now, I realize what a special and personal gift that news was for you.
Of course it took a bit for you to see it, but the tiny package delivered to our home a week after your birthday would turn out to be a closer friendship than even any of your coveted stuffed animals could claim (even monkey, although it was close…). The adoption of your baby sister was something you couldn’t understand at first. I’ll never forget being on the phone one day before she moved in and excitedly sharing the news with a friend that she would be joining our family. As I walked around the house talking a million miles a minute, in my own world of delirium, I found you sitting on the couch – in tears. My heart sank and I realized how I had done exactly what I had promised myself I wouldn’t do. I let myself get caught up in the excitement of it all and had ignored the immensity of what was actually happening in your seven-year-old world.
You were the only one in the family taking on a new role with the arrival of your sister. You were suddenly pushed out of your “my baby” spot and assumed the title of middle child, whether you were ready for it or not. Life was perfectly happy and comfortable for you as is; you didn’t ask for the title of big brother. This new reality was forced on you and no one would have blamed you if you let yourself stew in frustration and resentment when she stormed her way in and took over much of our time and attention.
In the most beautiful way however, this little stranger would reveal the absolute selfless and admirable character of our one and only you. The love you show your small buddy has been an example to more than I can count. Time and again, complete strangers comment on how touched they are watching your interactions with her. She lays bare the inner workings of your heart, and it never gets old to witness.
At 6’ 1”, you, my sweet boy, have changed dramatically on the outside, yet I cherish the way you cling tight to your youth and never rush into the next phase of life as so many of us mistakenly do. You’re not one to rush anything, actually. Nope, not you. You’re a man who takes his time, marinating in all the good that surrounds you.
I think there is something special about your child when a parent can unabashedly say they not only love you, they like you. I like the person you are, so much I do. I like your incredible smile and the jet black color of your hair that reminds me of your dad in his younger days. I like your appreciation for fashion, even when it means spending an amount of money on a shirt that I might not ever consider. I like your humor and your unique ability to never take things too seriously. I like your calm demeanor and the respect you show in never raising your voice even when you disagree with me. I like the paradox that defines much of your life, like the way your floor is littered with clothing, but the outfit you have planned for the next day is meticulously folded and sitting out on your couch. I like your mega-wide spectrum of music interests and especially like that your favorite music involves those singers that can hit the highest of high notes. I like that one of your life’s goals was to master the hot wing challenge at our local wing joint. I like your mad artistic skills and can’t wait to see what medium you land on for a career. I like that you are not afraid to admit what you are afraid of, yet you do your best to overcome whatever fear holds you back. I like that you still rock onesie pj and own it with pride. I like that you still allow me to give you hugs. Most of all, I like that you are mine.
One of the many gifts of your little sister is the fact that she gives you a glimpse of what it is like for a parent to love a child. The age difference between you is enough that you understand your role as protector and it’s clear you would do anything for her as I would for you. Do you get that? I hope you get that. Happy birthday Crump. Never stop being this guy I like so very much and the son I love even more.
