How can our Catholic parishes be more responsive to this reality?
The reality being referred to is the prevalence of those within our communities struggling with their mental health. The question was posed from one of my fellow catholicmom bloggers, Janelle Perogy, in preparation for our conversation on her Family Life Friday radio program through the Diocese of San Diego. Janelle interviewed me about my recently published memoir, “My Unexpected Journey. My Surprising Joy”. When reviewing the list of questions she forwarded, this one stumped me. But it’s good – so good. And really deserves attention.
Interestingly enough, the answer loops back to her very first question of, “why did I want to write this book and share my story”? The short answer is because I strongly feel it’s what God wants us to be doing. The long answer involves this whole concept and understanding of community. God gave us one another for the purpose of communing. We are meant to share, to learn and to grow with and through the experience of those around us. But we can’t do that, of course, unless we are open with our story. And I don’t mean “social-media” open. I mean really, transparently open – the good, the not-so-good and the just plain ugly.
In essence, the church is the very definition of community, for it is far more than the brick and mortar. Rather, the church, or the parish, is the group of people who come to commune – to pray – to serve – to be fed – to praise – to cry – to ask – to be broken or whole or just plain human. So when we ask if our parish is supportive, we need to look both at ourselves and the people around us. What are we doing to build one another up?
“Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up.” 1Thessalonians 5:11
The month of May is Mental Health Awareness month. The fact that Janelle wants to have this conversation now says a lot about her particular diocese and the effort to support those struggling with their mental health. It’s not about solving the problem necessarily, but rather having conversations that quell the stigmas and help every person feel accepted, supported and not alone.
Many of my close friends who have read my book have shared how surprised they were to learn of my immense struggle with anxiety. “I had no idea.” “I wish I would have known.” “Why are we women so good at hiding what is really going on?” I think one of the most common misunderstandings about mental health is this assumption that we would know if those around us are suffering. Many think mental health issues are this total loss with reality; the extreme stories we see on the news. While I had threads of anxiety throughout my childhood, it did not become debilitating until after the birth of my children – the chemical changes simply leaving me in a place where I was overcome with daily fears and anxieties.
“As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another.” 1 Peter 4:10
Now on the other side of the worst of the anxiety, I often thank God for the cross. If I hadn’t carried it so intimately, I wouldn’t be able to empathize with and support others carrying the same cross. It has been an unexpected, yet incredible, gift to connect with other moms who are trying to name the source of suffering in their life and make sense of it in the midst of keeping it together and loving on their families. Far too many of our brothers and sisters are aching to be understood. If we look at our own crosses as opportunities to share and connect, I believe we can serve in the way we are called.
It’s a fabulous question and one that can translate to any subject – any challenge – any cross. How can we be more responsive to ____________. Just fill in the blank and then ask yourself; how can I help? (Click the link to watch the interview!)
